The Deer With Three Legs

Here is a "journal entry" I wrote quite a few months back about a revelation God gave to me when I was going through a "season" of insecurity, feeling disconnected, and hurt. God comes up with some really unique ways to let us know how much He loves us. I'm so thankful for this and find that I come back to this entry often to remind myself of His love and grace. My little story may seem silly to many but to me it is a "silly"story that holds a lot of meaning. A time where I knew God was speaking to me. A time where I felt His presence. A time where I got to learn a little bit more about who He is.


(A picture I captured of the 3-legged Deer)

God has been laying one word on my heart lately. That word is TRUST. Do I really trust Him- fully- completely? To be honest, no, I haven't in every area of my life. I don't always trust Him fully and completely. Try as I may, He knows this about me and has been taking time to show me where I've lacked trust and how to change.

Here is one example that I don't want to ever forget:

About a year ago, on my way home from work, as I was turning onto my home street in town, a 3-legged deer ran out in front of my car. I live right in the middle of town so it startled me, but as I watched the deer hobble across the road, I started to have an overwhelming urge to cry. I wasn't exactly sure why, but I felt as if I needed to pray for it. So, I prayed for healing over the deer and God's protection over it. I had been so overwhelmed with love and sadness for the deer (I know it sounds silly) but with that emotion I began to think about God and his creation... and how HE must feel about us. If I could feel such silly love for a little injured deer, God's love for us is infinitely more. As I thought through it all, I was still confused. I was confused by my rush of emotion and love for the wounded deer as this wasn't the first time I saw a wounded animal. Not to mention, this deer seemed to be doing just fine. It was making it's way through town with 3 legs, and the 4th was all healed up. But, little did I know... God knew why I felt such compassion towards this animal and he soon showed me why.

About what seemed to be a year later, I was in a spiritual drought. Feeling hopeless, helpless, and desperate, I decided to go for a walk in the graveyard by our house to spend some quiet time with God. While being out there, my mind was racing and I was easily distracted, not focusing on Him. This was extremely frustrating and made me feel disconnected from God. I came to a little hill facing the woods in the graveyard and decided I should just kneel down and sit in His presence to see if I could hear or see ANYTHING from Him. I knelt down and began to pray. I started to tear up, asking God to show me something, anything, some sign. As soon as I finished praying that, I looked up toward the woods and suddenly out of nowhere a deer was looking straight into my eyes. I screamed because I was not expecting something to be staring dead-straight into my eyes. I had looked up in the wooded area just a few moments earlier and there was no deer, so this was a huge surprise to me. The deer did not move... it didn't even blink.

At first I thought some person had come and stuck a deer head in the woods to scare people, as if it were a joke. I made all kinds of sounds and walked towards it but it didn't move. I approached the deer and saw it was actually laying down. I continued approaching not knowing what might happen. I felt like maybe God was trying to show me something so I started praying for the deer. I started praying for it's healing because I thought maybe it was injured and that's why it wasn't moving and why it wouldn't stand up. As I prayed, the deer stood up and I immediately recognized it. It was the 3 legged deer I had seen earlier that year. I couldn't believe the same deer I had seen a year or so earlier was still alive and now staring at me, letting me approach it! This brought the same emotion out of me as my last encounter with the deer had, so I began to cry. I started praying for it's healing and protection again and slowly made my way closer to the deer. In my disbelief, the deer let me get fairly close to it and just as I thought I may have the chance to lay hands on the deer, it ran away from me. This may sound really silly but it was a very emotional experience for me. I knew God was up to something but I didn't know what yet.

I decided from then on that I would seek out the deer and spend time with God to see if there was something He was really trying to show me. I went out to the graveyard a handful of times to visit this deer and believe it or not, saw the deer in that same graveyard 3 more times. What are the chances??? Each time I saw it, it was an emotional experience and each time, the deer let me get just a little bit closer to it. This sweet 3 legged deer would stand staring at me unwaveringly and as soon as I got just a little too close for it's comfort, it would flee. I just kept wishing it knew my intentions and how I really just wanted to pet it and bring it some comfort.

I was confused by all my encounters and was trying hard to understand what God could be showing me. After praying and thinking about how this scenario related to me, it hit me! I was the deer and God was ultimately "me" approaching the deer. Little did this deer know, I had good intentions... I just wanted to pet it... show it some love, pray for it, and bring it some comfort.
But the deer didn't trust me. It was scared. It didn't know what to expect. It ran when I got too close. THAT was what I was doing with God. All He wanted to do was fill me up with his love, compassion, healing touch, and have a relationship with me... but I was like the deer, fleeing from God because I was insecure, hurting, and scared. This was a huge revelation to me. Through this experience I felt like I could really start to begin understanding God's love for me and that He was just asking me to trust Him... like I was hoping for the deer to trust me! This really spoke to me and gave me a whole new fresh perspective.

While going through this whole experience, I knew that I really needed to give my everything to God, disregarding my past failures, or how low and disconnected I felt. I see now that I really needed to trust Him with my whole heart, be with Him, and dwell in His love for me. I needed to take a step in faith to do what God was asking me to do and not be afraid. While working through this experience and piecing together how these "deer encounters" related to me, God used "Women's Daily Prayer Devotional" to make it extremely clear to me what He wants to teach me at this point in my life. I think this section from the devotional really sums it up. The devotional reads in first person because it is a prayer book and this is what it read:

"Today I'll simply trust you, Father. I'll remember that you're not looking for resumes full of impressive credentials; rather, you seek hearts that trust in you. You want to enjoy a vibrant, meaningful relationship with me - A relationship in which I trust you fully. That's the starting point of a life lived for you.
Genesis 15:6 'And Abram believed the Lord; and the Lord reckoned it to Him as righteousness'"